The new draconian legislation in Ugunda that means life-sentences for gay people is a bridge too far for the Netherlands.

Therefore the Dutch sub-minister Fred Teeven (People’s party for fairy tales) who is responsible for immigration has declared a very flexible rule for Ugandan gay fugitives.

The reason for this is that gay rights are very important in the Netherlands, because most of us hate muslims and muslims hate gay people and that is why we in the Netherlands think that gay rights need to be protected.

An example of this sense of urgency was seen during the Olympics in Russia last week. Our super-delegation of the prime-minister, the King and the Queen and a shitload of other VIPs went over there to tell Putin that gays have rights too. Putin said something like “LOL”.

Anyway, this flexible immigration rule in the Netherlands for Ugandan gay people sounds too good to be true right?

That is correct.

In reality no one over here is going to believe you are gay in the first place. And be sure to spell everything right when you apply because when you make a mistake it will be considered cheating and you will be sent back to Uganda. They will be asking questions about how nice it is to be penetrated in the ass. They will measure up your ass and if it’s not wide enough they will send you back to Uganda.

If they measure your ass and it’s wide enough to leave the being gay possibility open they will crush your skull and face with pieces of wood and rubber, they will ducttape you and put you in a straightjacket and fly you back to Uganda and hand you over to the Ugandan Secret Service.

And if all of this doesn’t work they will make your life so miserable that you will buy a can of gasoline and put yourself ablaze.

Because that is how we roll in the Netherlands.

There is no way that the tolerant Dutch people is going to allow gay negroes over here.